Instinct leads me to another flow
Everytime I hear a brother call a girl a bitch or a ho
Trying to make a sister feel low
You know all of that gots to go…
I had my cutoff shorts on right cause it was crazy hot
I walked past these dudes when they passed me
One of ’em felt my booty, he was nasty
I turned around red, somebody was catching the wrath
Then the little one said (Yeah me bitch) and laughed
Since he was with his boys he tried to break fly
Huh, I punched him dead in his eye and said “Who you calling a bitch?

U.N.I.T.Y. Queen Latifah

The link above is to a fb page- a page that says it discusses news and politics from an “urban viewpoint” (read “Black viewpoint”) – posting a video of a Black woman being harassed, followed and verbally abused on the street. Upon realizing that she is being followed inside, she says “Uh, could you not follow me”, to which he replies, “Shut up, bitch.” Classic. The video post is accompanied by a patronizing “Open Letter” that uses flowery, disarming language to make it seem like the author is on this woman’s side when really it just burdened her with the responsibility of another person’s behavior. #muling #respectabilitypolitics. It is exactly the kind of thing I discussed in my previous posts here and When viewing the above fb link, please do yourself a favor and read the responses left by Breukelen Bleu who perfectly stated why this video and the Open Letter is totally out of line, hypocritical and is a disservice to Black folks.

So besides humiliating this woman on the internet, what was the damn point of that fb post? Serious question. How was it helpful to this woman? How did it serve this woman? How did it improve the Black community? It didn’t. But in our world today, we blame everything on the less privileged group – women, in this case – in order to front like we’re actually doing something meaningful to improve the world. #lazy.

My theory for why they chose to target this woman, film her behind (without her consent, of course), follow her, and then call her out of her name for simply requesting they stop following her, was because they knew there would be no consequences. Black women have a history of crimes against us going unpunished or unnoticed altogether. This sends a message to the world that we don’t matter and it leaves us vulnerable. Degenerates and abusers get pleasure from preying upon those they perceive to be vulnerable. That is their m.o. and until they decide they want to abide by some kind of moral code of conduct, they will require straight-no-chaser type of consequences in order to be kept in check. Facts of life. Therefore, about all that Open Letter needed to say to this woman was “Sister, next time go in a group or walk down the street strapped and prepared to scrap because degenerates will prey. Give ’em hell.”

Note how this entire video stays on her butt but not once does it focus on the faces of her harassers. Imagine if it did? Imagine if we shifted the focus? What a different conversation we’d be having. Then we’d see just how sick and demented they looked subjecting another human being to their mess.

If we shifted the focus, there would have been an Open Letter addressed to the men in that video, instead; asking them “Who you calling a bitch”?, forcing them to ask themselves why are they roaming through the streets preying on people like a bunch of damn wildebeests? They’re the ones we really need to be filming, analyzing, and picking apart. Not her butt. Her butt is her butt. It’s going to be her butt until death and she should be able to have said butt in peace. Black women’s butts have been scrutinized long enough.

Yet, we never shift the focus to the ones who are eerily and creepishly leering at and following Black girl ass and Black girl body parts all day. At what point will our community require men like the ones in the video to check themselves and concern themselves with establishing their own principles and code of conduct? You know, like maybe rounding them up and forcing them to publicly recite daily pledges and shit. Something like: “If I see a fat ass that excites me, I promise not to follow, harass or verbally assault her for my own twisted idea of pleasure. I will keep it moving, count to 10, proceed to mind my damn business and continue living my life because I have actual important shit to do.”

If we say this woman deserved what she got for the way she dressed, by that logic then Trayvon…I mean, do I really have to spell this shit out? The hoodie made Zimmerman do it. The clothes Black men wear makes them deserving of harassment by police. But we’d never cosign that. We know that’s not right. So why is it ok when it’s done onto a Black woman? Why do we hold her in such little regard? Why do we expect so little from Black men? Why do we stay sticking to the same tired ass hypocritical script? Dafuq is the problem? Where is the damn disconnect? Are we really in this together, or nah? Help me understand!

Ok, so maybe we have a case of a woman with low self-esteem (although, for all we know, this woman was on vacation at the beach and really loves herself and has aligned all her chakras…) But if you’re that concerned with a Black woman’s self-esteem, don’t post videos of her street harassment with a condescending letter penned to the harassed woman blaming her for the harassment and then proceed to chalk up their behavior with “boys will be boys” type of “logic”. That’s bull. If you’re really that concerned with Black women’s self-esteem, take your ass to a Black woman’s shelter or work with Black girls in foster care. Mentor them. Tell them they are smart, capable, and beautiful, and deserving of good shit in their lives. Get your behind up and march for their lives when they’re brutalized and abused. Advocate for them when they need a line of defense. In other words: Be. Of. Service. Otherwise, sit your hypocritical, self-righteous, talking out the side of your neck ass right on down…and stay down.


Black woman. Birthright Woman. Twenty-something. Writer. Thinker. Dancer. Singer. Lawyer. Matriarchist. Afro-wearer. History and genealogy enthusiast. Bronx born, Harlem rooted, Queens adopted & Brooklyn educated. This blog is where I share my thoughts on the world.

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